Okay, the green whackos are getting out of hand. When they start going for the comfort of my ass, I get a bit uppity.
It seems the leftards over at Greenpeace want to take away Charmin, Cottonelle, Quilted Northern, and, of course, Angel Soft. That’s right, Angel Soft. I can’t live without my Angel Soft.
They say it’s too soft for your ass and we’re killing to many trees just to have a comfortable time in the library. They’re suggesting products like Seventh Generation Double Rolls, for example. For $3.99 you can get a 4-pack. That’s a buck a roll, and it’s like using sandpaper on your ass.
For about 50% less, I can get Angel Soft at Meijer’s, and my ass is a happy ass. I’m sure they’d love to take my big-ass redneck pickup truck and send it to the crusher as well.
Think about the toilet paper in rest areas on the toll road. Point made.
Greenpeace claims people that desire a little comfort on their asses are responsible for killing old growth trees, (virgin forests). My ass is virginal to sandpaper, and I intend on keeping it that way.
Hey, if you have to cut down some old growth trees, bring me a 24 pack of Angel Soft and some Spotted Owl Filets when you get done.
I’m surprised they didn’t endorse the reusable Wallypop ass wipes.
You can read about it here.
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Tags: Greenpeace, toilet paper
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AGreed Dan, especially when it’s ON SALE this week at KROGER.SCOTTS…LOL.
Besides, I’ll bet NONE of them suffered the pain and embarrassment of hemorrhoids, even THOUGH ALL these tree-huggers ARE an R.P.I.A. for the REST of us.
Damn near the ONLY place untouched by this goverment IS…OUR ASSES!
(exclusive of the Vaseline they’ve been passing out this eyar)
SO hands off our butts, kapeesh?
It was that great and learned environmentalist Sheryl Crow that suggested we only use one square to save the planet. I don’t recall if we had her permission to flush, though…..