Dear Abby,
 
I am a crack dealer in Fort Wayne, Indiana who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents also live in Fort Wayne and one of my sisters, who lives in New Haven, is married to a transvestite.
 
My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Warsaw.
 
I have two brothers, one is currently serving a non-parole life sentence in Michigan City for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children.

I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Waynedale, She is a part time “working girl”.
 
All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her.
 
Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Nelson Peters for Mayor?
 
Signed,
Worried About My Reputation

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One Response to “This came to me last night via email”
  1. roach says:

    ROTFL!
    whats your e-mail, so I can send you my “X-wire” comic book/tabloid rag?
    unlike the JG, I make no pretense of being a “serious ” publication.
    however, sometimes I have some good stuff in it.

    let me know @
    dcroach@yahoo.com

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